Eliot just keeps on growing and changing in new ways that amaze me every day. His four-month appointment went really well with great numbers. 90-95 percentile for height and 50-75 percentile for weight. No wonder his pants are too short yet the next size up are too large in the waist. Longgg and skinny.

The only issue really is his sleep, but it is more of a concern for me than Eliot. Since we're breastfeeding, I have to bear the brunt of Eliot's four, six, sometimes eight party sessions every night. And I'm horrible at falling asleep to begin with, so I doubt that I am getting more than an hour of sleep at a time--if even. The doctor warned us that long-term sleep deprivation like this can lead to psychosis. I'm feeling OK, but Eliot is four months old, afterall, so we decided to give the formula a try. However, I am still breastfeeding. This is just to supplement before bedtime.

His doctor gave us a sample container of formula with "added rice" so I don't have to worry about adding cereal to his milk and him choking or something. The "added rice" is ground up, but hits the stomach the same way. Something like that. Some people start on solids at four months, so we thought he could handle the change. Plus, it will help prepare him for solids in the coming months.

We tried giving it to him as his last feeding before bed. The first night, he only took a sip because he was tired. The second night, he spit it all out (not up, but drooled it out) the whole time. He just wasn't into it. Tonight, though, I used a different bottle. I had tried his glass bottles at first, but tonight we went with his Playtex drop-ins. Success! However, we waited too late *again* and he only drank about an ounce before falling asleep. I suppose it is better, though, so he can ease into just having a sip and then an ounce instead of forcing, say, four ounces down. I hope that it helps because, man, I'd love to get some sleep.

It has been a really good week and it is only Tuesday. Yesterday, we got some really great news about Chris's job. I don't think anyone reads this, and the job is official, so I suppose it won't hurt to post this. Some quick background information: Christopher and I are both adjunct English professors who more or less teach a full load. I usually teach five classes a semester (including summers) and Chris is assigned about seven. However, as adjuncts, our positions are "non-contractual"--or need-based. At the same time, all of the online professors are adjuncts, so there is continually a big need. So, our jobs are not technically the most secure, but the reality is that we will most likely receive our usual load. There is a contractual position, though, called an Instructional Mentor, which is the supervisor of a team of professors. I have an IM. Chris has an IM. The IM answers questions, evaluates professors once a year, and holds professors accountable for keeping up their grading. This position is contractual. IMs also can teach up to five courses a subterm (or fifteen courses a semester and ten in the summer). And Chris was promoted to an IM yesterday. He starts July 1st.

This is great news for us. I feel such a relief that he will have a contract. We always received our load as expected, but there was always this linger thought in my mind that it isn't promised. However, as an IM, Chris now has that security. What a relief indeed! It is a great step for him career-wise as well. I'm so excited for him!

In other news, I ordered a couple of baby food "cookbooks" today. I have been planning to make Eliot's baby food myself for some time. While I'm sure pureeing some carrots isn't that complicated, I am looking forward to seeing what sorts of interesting combinations they have and what other tips are included in the books. The one also has recipes and meal ideas for toddlers based on growing and changing nutritional needs, so it should be helpful. As silly as it sounds, most of my parenting anxiety revolves around nutrition. I was so very worried about breastfeeding, so I ordered a La Leche League book and felt much better after reading it. And breastfeeding has gone beautifully well. Then I started feeling overwhelmed when thinking of the transition to solids. What is the correct balance of milk to food? And how do you change over? So many people that I see start on solids around four months. Eliot will be four months in just 11 days. However, our doctor said firmly not to start any solids at all until six months. It is confusing, but I think that these books will help to assure me that I will be able to figure out the right transition at the right time for Eliot and he won't be deficient in any sort of mineral area or anything.

Eliot's sleeping just keeps getting worse, it seems. He is up about six times a night. I was bad and let him sleep in bed with us the past two nights. So that was two nights in the crib and then two with us. He doesn't demand to sleep with us or anything. It is just easier on me. And his number of times getting up seems to be the same either way. The subject of formula came up again because Chris is getting woken up a bit too, which isn't good for his work schedule. He went in later today than he had hoped because he was so tired. My sleep doesn't matter too much because I don't have anywhere to go. Anyway, we might start giving him a bottle of formula before bed once he hits four months. As I said before, I planned to breastfeed for six months, but had always been very open to (and almost planning on) supplementing with formula before bedtime to help with sleep. Six times a night is just too much. Maybe it is four month sleep regression, but he never fully "recovered" from his three-month growth spurt (which came a couple of weeks early). Before that, he only got up TWICE a night. What is with this six thing?

Kimmy is coming this weekend to celebrate her birthday with a camping trip. I've been trying to get things in order. Today I cleaned Mr. Rufus's cage, did some dishes, did three loads of laundry, cleaned the toilet upstairs (yep, just the toilet), tidied up Eliot's room, and tried to organize some bills. Seriously. Stray papers will be my downfall. I have a system for the important items, but it is hard to maintain with so much junk mail!

Just got back from Eliot's two month appointment. Eleven pounds and three ounces (75 percentile), twenty-three and a half inches long (90 percentile!!!), and head circumference of fifteen inches (50 percentile). When the doctor left the room, Chris was bursting with excitement about Eliot's possible basketball future. Ha!

The doctor was happy with everything and said that Eliot's green poops are probably just from the fish oil since he is growing so well. I had just thought of that last night. The green diapers started showing up around the time we started giving him the fish oil at night.... Anyway, that is a relief.

We also gave Eliot his first round of vaccines. Ugh. Vaccines have been something I have struggled with in my mind for a long time, even before we got pregnant. Since Chris's cousin is autistic, it is all very real to us. I understand both sides, but with the help of our doctor (whose practice is also well-renowned for being an autism treatment center), I think we have a good, precautions plan. We space them out more than most doctors and give Eliot vitamins to boost his immune system every night.

Speaking of vitamins, I would almost be willing to bet that Eliot would sleep through the night with formula. We usually put his vitamins in a bottle of one or two ounces. Last night, we had a bag of three ounces of breast milk that needed to be finished up before it went bad. So we gave him three ounces right before bed and doubled up on the vitamins since he'd be getting his vaccines. And then Eliot wanted to eat more. So I fed him. The kid slept from 10:30 pm til 5:30 am! If only I could get him to eat that much every night before bed! Then he'd totally be sleeping just fine! But instead he prefers to sip sip sip. He has gotten better since he was a newborn, though. It used to be every hour. Now he usually sleeps until 2:30 am and then gets up every two hours. He'll be eight weeks old tomorrow and I'm tired. Chris said maybe we can try the formula before bed next week. He'd rather I exclusively breastfeed this week to give him the extra benefits since he just got his shots. I don't know. It'd be nice, but it is oh so hard to make the plunge with supplementing. And then I think about it and it IS just supplementing some, not quitting.

Eliot's clothes come in the mail today! And then his bumbo tomorrow! I'm probably more excited than I should be. I'm just really looking forward to washing and organizing all of his clothes. Haha! I love seeing him grow, but of course it makes me sad at the same time. His newborn dino outfits were so cute! I love them! And my little newborn is growing up. Ah.

p.s. I pumped almost three ounces this morning. Maybe the oatmeal is helping. Haha!