We had another great weekend with family for Easter. Eliot did beautifully in the car (one stop to feed and no tears or fussing aside from that one time when he told us he was hungry). It was nice to see everyone again.

Eliot has been getting closer and closer to rolling over, so when we got home, we bought a rug for the den. I kept saying that he'd do it in a week, but he did it within two days! I couldn't believe how fast he progressed. This morning, Eliot and I were playing in bed while Chris got ready for work. I said, "Chris! He's doing it! Oh wait. He's not. Oh! He did!" Fortunately, Chris ran in just in time to see him.

Every time I walk by the drawer in the kitchen that holds my birth control, I worry. I worry if I have taken it. And I always have. I never miss a pill and always take it on time. Even after reassuring myself, I still worry. It's not that having another baby now would be bad, just more convenient later. And some paper work from the insurance company looked like my maternity rider won't kick in for another three months since there is a six-month waiting period--even though I have been paying for it consistently for almost four years and never canceled it. If that were the case, I think we could fight it. But still. I worry. If by chance I do become pregnant before we plan another baby, I would consider it to be a tremendous blessing and would be so very happy and thankful. So why do I worry so much?

This was Eliot and I after trying to get everything done on that list in the previous entry on the day Chris's parents came in. Gotta grab every second of potential sleep!

Chris's parents' visit was great. His mom finally got to see Eliot (it had been almost two months!), we got to meet Elizabeth's boyfriend, and Elizabeth was able to spend some time with her future roommates at Liberty. I'm actually kind of jealous that Elizabeth already has established some great friendships in college and she hasn't even started! I never really "fit in" at Longwood. Something about not being into drinking or field parties...

Here is Eliot and grandma Robinson

During their visit, they helped us load up a new bench into the Caddy to set outside. Chris and I have been looking at outside benches for almost two years, but we couldn't fit one in the Jeep because of the carseat. So now we have a place to sit outside! I must say that our front yard is looking better and better. We might get some matching chairs for the other side of the front stoop. Eliot loves to sit outside and stare up at the cherry tree. Either his jaw simply drops or he looks so serious the whole time. It's so funny. I'm so glad that he loves the outdoors.

We have another busy weekend coming up! We're heading to Chesapeake TODAY. I should be doing laundry. I should be eating lunch (forget breakfast!). But I just need a breather. And Eliot just woke up from his twenty-minute nap. I love that baby! I'm so happy to see him. :)

So, here is what I need to do today before we leave:
Pack my and Chris's bag.
Pack Eliot's bag.
Set up the cat and rabbit food.
Fold Eliot's laundry.
Dry and fold our darks.
Gas up the Jeep.

Not too bad! I have four hours.

Today has been uneventful, yet it has felt busy. Eliot continues to get up twice a night, which is manageable. After he woke up for the day, we spent the morning giggling and cuddling in bed. Then Chris and I took turns showering. We planned to all go to the grocery store because I haven't been in three months and Eliot has never been, but then he fell asleep, so I stayed behind.

Later, we headed over to Chris's aunt and uncle's house to visit his grandmother. She just loves that baby. Chris's aunt confirmed that Eliot has teeth buds showing in his gums, so I know I'm not nuts. I know those things looked like teeth, but couldn't find anyyyything online matching the description.

We weighed Eliot the other day. Twelve and a half pounds. He seems to gain a steady half a pound a week, which is great. He is ten weeks now!

So now we're expecting snow tonight. I was hoping today could be a little adventurous, but it was quite chilly. Tomorrow I suppose we'll stay in and work on school work. :)

My legs hurt "like they do sometimes." That's the description I've been giving for fourteen years. Ever since I was at least ten, my legs will occasionally ache horribly. Nothing makes it better and I just say that they hurt "like they do sometimes" and everyone in my family knows what I'm referring to. I'm a medical mystery. I've been to multiple doctors, had x rays, and so on. No one knows why, but it seems to go with the weather--and it rained yesterday. At the same time, it seems to be a muscle issue. I don't know. But they hurt horribly today, so I'm staying home from work.

We had a really awesome weekend in Chesapeake. Eliot finally met three of my friends (Truly, Kimmy, and Sara). We took him to the beach. We hung out with family. And then we came home to a night of Chris finishing up his grading.

Sometimes you take a photo and you know it will be a family classic. You know that you and others will look back on it years and years later fondly. "Remember the first time we took him to the beach?" That is going to be wrapped up in this photo. And I've taken a lot of photos that I have been proud of over the years--ones that are better than this--but for some reason the fact that there are now three of us instead of two seems to make a big difference. Everything was special before, but now it is more special, more important. I guess with Eliot I feel like I'm building family history. I guess I feel like I'm laying the ground work for later Robinsons. Like one day Eliot will point to this picture when he is older and tell his kids, "That is me and my dad." And I hope he is filled with a sense of love, appreciation, and nostaglia because that Chris is the proudest, most loving dad that I could have ever imagined for my baby.

I think Chris will be home in about four hours and then we'll be ready to get on the road. I haven't looked forward to a trip this much in a long time. I haven't been home since the beginning of October--five and a half months ago. And the last time I went out of town at all was at the end of October when we went Woodbridge to see Chris's parents. So, yeah. I need to get out. :)

I might be a little crazy, but I've been thinking about baby number two ever since Eliot was born. Not planning one out yet at all, yet just thinking about the future. I'm on a breastfeeding-friendly birth control and, heck, I don't think our maternity rider will kick in again for another three months (which really doesn't seem fair). I love Eliot so much and during the first week, I thought to myself, "I want to always have a baby around." I've always kind of wanted three kids, but Chris has always said two, or maybe just one. I guess I was the youngest of two and used to beg my mom for a younger brother or sister. I remember sitting in a play tent in my room when I was about eight and realizing that it just was never going to happen--I would never be a big sister. I went crying to my mom and she just said, "Nope. Sorry." As it turns out, she said she kind of always wanted a third too, even into her forties, but didn't want to "start over" again.

Then I think back to pregnancy and giving birth. The whole process was nerve wracking. We were both always worrying if Eliot was OK, if he was growing right, if the delivery would go smoothly, and so on. Parts of it were also very uncomfortable. I remember sitting in the bathroom feeling nauseous and thinking, "I don't know if I want to do this again." I remember throwing up at work and then a supervisor asking me in the hall to take on a project, which I was happy to help with, but felt awkward all teary-eyed and confessing, "No, I'm not crying. I just threw up." The whole last month I hurt the whole time. And I was blessed with an EASY pregnancy and delivery. What if the next one is hard? And, as selfish as this sounds, what if the weight doesn't come off so easily next time?

Chris and I talked about these things too. The truth is that I would go through all of that a hundred more times just for Eliot. He is an amazing, precious blessing. So, wouldn't I feel the same again? It is all definitely worth it. And I already have names picked out too. Quentin for a boy (this was our second choice name for Eliot) or Olivia for a girl (again, this was our name for Eliot had he been a girl). I want to use those names! And fast before anyone else steals them!

Anyway, so this commercial came on tv when it was on mute and Chris was out of the room. I only half-watch tv because, bleh, I'm just not into tv. I was thinking, "Ah, man. We gotta have three kids. Two boys and a girl would be awesome." Later, it came on again and I wasn't paying attention. Chris sighed and said, "If you could tell me we'd have more boys, I'd say let's have five kids. Our own team!" I guess that commercial, as cheesy as it was, really got us--only it sold us more kids, not life insurance. Haha! What holds me back is the thought of having a two and a half or three-year-old and a newborn at the same time. Or a six-year-old, three-year-old, and a newborn. Man. Plus, we'd need a bigger house! And a bigger car! And what about saving for college? We're trying to start now for Eliot. How difficult would it be to pay for three? What if I can't give enough love, attention, and support to three children and hinder them? Really, though, it will be a while before we plan out our second, but it is a nice thought.

Another week of work done! Chris suggested that I break my 10 hours up into two days (Mondays and Fridays) if it is getting to be too much, but I'd rather just put my head down and get it all in at once so I can keep our three-day weekends together. We seem to be noticing a pattern with Eliot on my work days. He goes through three bottles while I am away since I am able to feed him at lunch and dinner. Establishing these routines really helps me to relax concerning the whole situation. It is hard when you're trying to prepare for something when you don't know what to expect. I'm feeling better and better as we go along. Maybe part of that is just because another Monday is over. Haha!

As I was putting Eliot in bed last night, he was making all sorts of cute faces, noises, and kicking up a storm. Although I didn't want to tick him off with the flash (he is mostly OK with the flash during the day, but doesn't like it when it is dark), I got some nice shots using just the light coming from our bedside lamp. I'm sure everyone thinks their kids are the cutest, but, man, I really think he is!

I have all sorts of plans for today, most of which probably won't happen. We're heading to Chesapeake on Thursday night, so I'd like to do a lot of laundry to get ready.

Yesterday, we headed over Chris's aunt and uncle's house. His cousin was in town from college and hadn't met Eliot. Also, they had his grandmother over visiting. A big part of me still feels guilty for not having Eliot earlier so his grandfather could meet him. And I feel bad for his grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and seems sad sometimes. And I would be too. But, for some reason, she just loves Eliot. They say she has never been a "baby person," but she always wants to hold him, offers to babysit, and lights up when we bring him around. I'm glad we can give her some of that.

Last night, I got everything ready. I loaded the changing stations with diapers. I set out a bib downstairs and also one upstairs. I filled Eliot's bottles with my milk. I had more than I thought! Five bottles, each with three ounces. That is fifteen ounces! Chris doesn't need me to get everything ready for him--he could do it himself--but it makes me feel better about leaving. Seeing those bottles full puts my mind at ease.

Chris and I have come up with a plan of sorts. I would like to stay home all the time with Eliot--what mom wouldn't?--but one day a week isn't so bad. And I do think this is important bonding time for Eliot and Chris without me around. Anyway, it might not be as difficult if he weren't so young. But we came up with a plan to help ease some of the stress and anxiety that I feel throughout the week about the coming of Monday. Soon we'll start giving Eliot a bottle of formula with his vitamins before bed. Not only will this help his sleep (he woke up four times last night, which is extra difficult for a night before an early morning for work!), but then I can save that extra pumped milk for Mondays. We'll aim to continue to just give him my pumped milk on Mondays, but at least I won't have to stress out as much since he will have already been introduced to formula in case Chris needs an extra bottle for some reason.

I feel so weird about it all. Most of me feels like it is not a big deal. Most of our parents (and Chris) were "formula babies," and so many babies are mostly just formula-fed. And I'm just supplementing. The doctors weren't alarmed when we mentioned considering it. In fact, our one pediatrician recommended it due to his sleep. And he went for two months exclusively breastfed. This will be one bottle a night. And then if I go home to visit my parents and my mom is willing to watch Eliot for a couple of hours for Chris and I to do something, I don't have to fret about bringing extra milk down in a cooler or something. I think all that has me cautious almost is this worry of self-righteousness. I know the hardcore breastfeeding people would tell me to suck it up and get over my selfishness. But, you know, one bottle is not a big deal, and I'm doing it so I'll have the strength to keep giving him my milk during the work day. And maybe I'll be a better mom during the day since I'll be well rested.

By the way, check out my two-month-old GIANT in three-month clothes.