I think Chris will be home in about four hours and then we'll be ready to get on the road. I haven't looked forward to a trip this much in a long time. I haven't been home since the beginning of October--five and a half months ago. And the last time I went out of town at all was at the end of October when we went Woodbridge to see Chris's parents. So, yeah. I need to get out. :)

I might be a little crazy, but I've been thinking about baby number two ever since Eliot was born. Not planning one out yet at all, yet just thinking about the future. I'm on a breastfeeding-friendly birth control and, heck, I don't think our maternity rider will kick in again for another three months (which really doesn't seem fair). I love Eliot so much and during the first week, I thought to myself, "I want to always have a baby around." I've always kind of wanted three kids, but Chris has always said two, or maybe just one. I guess I was the youngest of two and used to beg my mom for a younger brother or sister. I remember sitting in a play tent in my room when I was about eight and realizing that it just was never going to happen--I would never be a big sister. I went crying to my mom and she just said, "Nope. Sorry." As it turns out, she said she kind of always wanted a third too, even into her forties, but didn't want to "start over" again.

Then I think back to pregnancy and giving birth. The whole process was nerve wracking. We were both always worrying if Eliot was OK, if he was growing right, if the delivery would go smoothly, and so on. Parts of it were also very uncomfortable. I remember sitting in the bathroom feeling nauseous and thinking, "I don't know if I want to do this again." I remember throwing up at work and then a supervisor asking me in the hall to take on a project, which I was happy to help with, but felt awkward all teary-eyed and confessing, "No, I'm not crying. I just threw up." The whole last month I hurt the whole time. And I was blessed with an EASY pregnancy and delivery. What if the next one is hard? And, as selfish as this sounds, what if the weight doesn't come off so easily next time?

Chris and I talked about these things too. The truth is that I would go through all of that a hundred more times just for Eliot. He is an amazing, precious blessing. So, wouldn't I feel the same again? It is all definitely worth it. And I already have names picked out too. Quentin for a boy (this was our second choice name for Eliot) or Olivia for a girl (again, this was our name for Eliot had he been a girl). I want to use those names! And fast before anyone else steals them!

Anyway, so this commercial came on tv when it was on mute and Chris was out of the room. I only half-watch tv because, bleh, I'm just not into tv. I was thinking, "Ah, man. We gotta have three kids. Two boys and a girl would be awesome." Later, it came on again and I wasn't paying attention. Chris sighed and said, "If you could tell me we'd have more boys, I'd say let's have five kids. Our own team!" I guess that commercial, as cheesy as it was, really got us--only it sold us more kids, not life insurance. Haha! What holds me back is the thought of having a two and a half or three-year-old and a newborn at the same time. Or a six-year-old, three-year-old, and a newborn. Man. Plus, we'd need a bigger house! And a bigger car! And what about saving for college? We're trying to start now for Eliot. How difficult would it be to pay for three? What if I can't give enough love, attention, and support to three children and hinder them? Really, though, it will be a while before we plan out our second, but it is a nice thought.